Although there was never a big blowup. There came a critical moment when we considered and discussed not being together. We even went so far as conceptualizing the division of our meager assets. We were tired. It was too hard. Too many people and personalities to deal with. Not enough money. There was frequent tension between us concerning the division of labor.

One night we discussed our dilemma as we sat parked in front of the house in our van (some of our best communication has occurred in that van). We spoke honestly and heatedly about our unmet expectations and the frustrations of our lives. We discovered that we both felt stuck, locked in. and obligated to perform in ways that we just couldn't. At that moment of simple and complete understanding, we released each other. We forgave each other and ourselves for having those feelings, because in spite of them, we were doing our best to do the right thing by each other and all of the children. We accepted that we each had the right to leave if we could not be happy and fulfilled. It was a liberating acceptance. For some reason, knowing that we had a choice freed our spirits and gave us a renewed supply of relationship energy.

So we carried forth with new projects, gradually merging our vision and revamping our strategy. The breakthrough occurred in 1992. It happened through the writing and recording of a new song, "It's Kwanzaa Time." The collective songwriting and production process verified a few things. We became very clear about our music business philosophy. Our mission was not only to create positive music, but also to build institutions that would serve to develop our culture and motivate our people. It was also clear that to do this we'd both have to work at it full time. Steve was still on the road with Ramsey, and schedule conflicts began to develop. If we had a gig, Ramsey would undoubtedly have one on the same date. Although Steve's tenure with Ramsey's band ended as the result of a difference of opinion, Steve's decision was made easier knowing that his full energies could be devoted to growing our business.

The single release, "It's Kwanzaa Time," had grown into Seven Principles, our new compact disc recording. It was the first contemporary collection of songs for Kwanzaa. Now we had a calling card. Television programs were interested, newspapers wanted stories, and teachers wanted us in their classrooms.

As we lunged deeper into the world of do-it-yourself music, we discovered that we could do much more. We learned new skills and honed old ones-computed assisted music production, sales, program development, workshop facilitation, book publishing, graphic design, public relations and more. With the support of our children and our village (relatives, friends, our children's teachers), we were able to travel across the country, performing at festivals, universities and community events. It was hard work, but it gave us a pathway to the future and multiplied our possibilities.

The children involved themselves in our projects both on stage and behind the scenes. Although they would never admit it (they love to taunt us about our "lucrative" career choice), they were inspired by our boldness and tenacity. (It didn't hurt to see themselves mentioned in the media occasionally, either.) We amazed ourselves. We wore a lot of hats and even with our own disorganized method, got a lot done.

The saga continues. These days we disagree (ever so slightly) about everything, but then we'll laugh and agree that it must be a phase. We still have problems with household order, sibling rivalry, and personal space, but since the household is now decreasing in size, we're hoping for a decrease in anxiety. So far Ahkinyala, Gwinyayi and Weusi have graduated from college; Chimu and Joshua are currently enrolled; Jeremiah is a high school scholar; and Mpatanishi and Zenzile (yeah, we had another sweet girl) brighten our every moment with their talent and zest for life.

Our business still calls on us to be brave and have faith, but it sustains us. We haven't "made it" yet, having redefined success for ourselves, we are finding that the joy is in the journey.